Q: Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A: It kept saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach."

Q: What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store? A: "Someday my prints will come."

Q: What comes with the new Divorced Barbie? A: All of Ken's stuff.

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, but only one can get into the pearly gates.
St. Peter asks Queen Elizabeth what makes her special enough to enter Heaven. Elizabeth takes out a douche bottle and douches herself.
St. Peter asks Dolly what makes her special enough to get into Heaven. Dolly opens up her shirt and flashes her chest.
St. Peter lets Queen Elizabeth in instead of Dolly. When Dolly asks St. Peter why Elizabeth was let in, Peter replies, "A royal flush beats a wild pair."

The Seven Dwarfs were sitting in a tub feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

There were five thousand Smurfs, and one Smurfette, and she screwed each one seven times. Enter 5000+1 times 7 in a calculator to see what Smurfette was...

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington shouts, "Save the women!" George W. Bush hollers, "Screw the women!" Bill Clinton asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"

Q: Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? A: Neither has he.

Q: Why didn't Ray Charles make it to heaven? A: He couldn't see the light.

Q: Do you know what size of shoe Dolly Parton wears? A: .....Neither does she

Q: What do you call Dolly Parton doing the backstroke? A: Islands in the Stream