Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat. "No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again. "For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"

Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, "Are you two sisters?" They chuckled and reply, " No, we aren't even Catholic."

Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

Q: Why was the blonde's bellybutton bruised? A: Her husband was a blonde, too.

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? She missed.

A blonde has sharp pains in her side, so she goes to the hospital. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade?
A: Because she's 21.

A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute."
The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.

Q: What's it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a box? A: A case of empties!

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? A: Pregnant.

A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor.
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"'What about the other ear and your hand?" the doctor asked.
She replied, "I tried to call for an ambulance."

Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: She sits by a candle.
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: She lights it.

Q: How do blondes' brain cells die? A: Alone.

Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Tell her a blonde joke.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.
Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.

Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Q: How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
A: Her tampon is behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.

A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"

Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common?
A: They are both blonde, brainless and made out of plastic

A blonde walking down the street spots a banana peel and sighs.
"Here we go again!"

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!" 

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved. 

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, "I look fat," and dies. The brunette says, " I look skinny," and dies. The blonde says, "I think..." and dies.